Love Your Body
I mention on my home page, that I am passionate about helping women love and accept their bodies. You might think that since that’s an interest of mine, I have never had a problem with accepting my own body. Actually, it’s just the opposite. I, like most American women these days, have spent way too many years picking apart every little teeny tiny detail of my body that I didn’t approve of…which sadly, only created more misery for myself and those around me.
I realized it had become a real problem, when after working furiously to get down to a “below average” weight for my body frame, I was still unhappy and obsessing over things I didn’t like about my body. What would it take to make me finally satisfied with my body, I wondered?
If you ask anybody who knows me well, they can attest to the fact that I have hated my hips ever since I hit puberty and matured into a “curvy” girl. In my opinion, my hips were too curvy…too wide…too embarrassing. I hated my curves and felt like I had to apologize to others for my imperfections. It’s embarrassing to even admit this, but at one very low point in my “body image obsessing years” (and at a time when I was still very naïve), I actually emailed a plastic surgeon and asked if you could elect to have hip replacement surgery…with smaller hips as the replacements. Needless to say, I never received a reply.
A few years back, I was complaining to a friend about all the many things I didn’t like about my body. In a thoughtful and compassionate way, she asked me a very simple question that somehow sparked a huge change in me. She asked me to name three things that I loved about my physical body. That’s it. Not a very difficult task is it? Well, for me it was nearly impossible. I thought long and hard about that question and could only come up with two things that I honestly loved about my body: My earlobes and my fingers.
It was that defining moment that made me realize how pathetic I had become in my mindset about my body. Here I was, a girl who had never been overweight, who exercised faithfully, who was a complete health nut, who had working limbs and senses… and yet, I had somehow allowed myself to believe that my body was majorly defective.
Since that time, I have worked extremely hard to change my mindset about how I view my body. I have read countless books, listened to numerous audio cd’s, and even attended classes to help me overcome this self destructive behavior. And finally, after several years of dedicated effort, I feel like I have come to a peaceful place where I can honestly say that I love my body… Not in a conceited way, but in a grateful and accepting way. (Of course, there are still occasional days that I get bugged about this or that when it comes to my physical body, but now I just brush it aside and don’t let it get in the way of enjoying life.)
I have decided that instead of picking apart every little thing about my body, I will continually work toward improving the things I can change, and that I will accept and be at peace with those things that I can’t change… (for example: my hip bones).
I know that I am not alone in this “lack of love” for one’s body. Each time I start working with a new client, I send home a two-page homework assignment. One of the questions included in this worksheet is the same question that moved me to change my ways a few years back. I ask them to simply write down three things they love about their physical body. And wouldn’t you know it? Many of their answers are similar to the type that I gave: fingernails, toes, eyebrows. Now, whenever I read responses like that, it makes me feel sad that our society has come to a point where most of us despise our physical body and it makes me even more determined to help my clients not only change the shape of their body, but to help them change their thinking as well.
We are all meant to have joy in this life! We are meant to accept ourselves and love the bodies that we have been given. I am so eager to help other women improve their physical physiques through exercise and nutrition, but more importantly, I am determined to help women everywhere find a little more love and acceptance for the amazing body that is theirs!
